Happy birthday me...
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Yesterday I was 17. I couldn't drink, couldn't drive, couldn't watch M18 movies, blah blah blah.Today I am 18. I can drink, can drive (not at the same time of course!) and I can watch M18 movies. So basically, according to Singapore law, I've matured overnight. Yay.
Oh wait... I've matured? YAY~~~ *bounces around like a 3 year old*
So much for maturity...
Ja ne~
Labels: JC life
Moo...
Thursday, November 30, 2006
MooMoo is a sad cow... Because MooMoo is turning 18 in twelve days...But MooMoo doesn't want to turn 18... Not anymore...
...
I'd rather study with you than spend my birthday without you...
Moo...
Labels: JC life
Friday, November 24, 2006
Why did you have to appologise, dammit?Things were going fine. Well, fine enough for me anyway. I had learnt to forget, and then you came back and said sorry. And broke the floodgates holding it back.
Forgive and forget. I've forgiven you a long time ago. You know that. I would have forgotten too. Or at least gone into a state of I DON'T REMEMBER: repression.
When things are buried in shallow water, you don't stir the water and make the water murky. Leave them alone. They're happy where they are. I'm happy where I am. Please. Don't make me remember...
It's time... perhaps... to truely let go...
Labels: JC life
One last paper!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
One day studying for the Literature of War and I already feel battle weary... Somehow I didn't imagine reading the whole day would be so tiring... And no, do not be deceived. War literature can get boring... *snore*As for the rest of the papers, my notes are stacked in one corner, already gathering dust. The tys-es are piled up, my sweat and blood (or maybe just sweat) for the two years providing the fuel I need to burn them and the school down.
Fine, I'm in an agressive mood. Maybe it's the war... Or maybe I'm suffering from Maple withdrawal... Somehow, a little water makes a thirsty man more parched...
Oh well, hope the exams went well for everyone else! If not, it's over, stop thinking about it. Or get some good alcohol to drown your sorrows. Can't wait to turn 18~ Maybe I should take things one step at a time. Can't wait to finish the exams...
Half a week, half a week, half a week onward~
For the Bio/History/Arabic/F.Math/Theatre Studies/Music/Jap/Divinity/Islamic Law/Lit/PoA/Art/Computing/German/Islamic Theory/all S paper students...
Have fun studying! I know you love studying... Studying is good... Studying is nice... Studying is fun... Studying is your friend... Fine, before you start a war with me... *grabs bow and cleric patron, just in case*
For the rest of you, I will start a war against you if you laugh... Go on, I dare you...
Sheesh, I AM asking for it, aren't I? No I didn't not just say that last line...
Yes you did!
No I didn't!
Yes, stop lying. I can see the dishonesty in your eyes.
Where? Where? I don't see it.
That's because you're blind...
Oh shut up, me!
Shut up yourself!
Argh!!
Ok, that conversation didn't happen either. It's your imagination... It's getting more...imaginative. Or maybe you're hallucinating. Shall I recommend you my psychiatrist? ^^
Hokies, so long and thanks for all the fish! And that includes Yarong... *burp*
Labels: JC life
Sheepy!!
Friday, October 20, 2006
Guess What?
<-------- I love this Sheep~~!!YAY!!
Labels: JC life
I don't mean anything by this but...
Sunday, October 08, 2006
... this song's just been playing over and over in my head...I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
Miss you much...
Labels: JC life
Back from fairy tales to reality...
Sunday, September 10, 2006
(to the tune of I have a Dream by ABBA)I have a Dweam
It's in the fridge
So it can freeze
For me to eat
If you see a moomoo
In a fairy tale
You can kiss the moomoo
Even if she moos
I believe in Red Bull
That it gives you wings during Napfa
I believe in chocolate
And when the time is right for me
I'll raid the fridge
I'll eat the Dweam.
I had a Dweam
I ate it all
And now I'm high
Bouncing around
If you see a wonder
Of a flying cow
You must eat the chocolate
So that you'll be round
I believe in vodka
Fermented from some kind of mixture
I believe in sheepy
And when the time is right for him
The sheep will fly
It ate the Dweam
------------------------------------------------------
And that's a summary of my holidays... Nonsensical fairy tales and bouncing around... And so as school resumes tommorow, for four weeks before Baccalaurette, it'll be back from dreams to cold hard reality... Wish me luck... >.<
Ja ne~
Labels: JC life
You know what?
Sunday, August 27, 2006
I have this strange urge to curl up in bed and cry. Haa... So there, Marko.I feel things around me are going to change drastically. And I don't like it. The part of me that's adamant to change is kicking up a fuss. Just like a stubborn old cow. Moooooooooooooo...
As much as things now are not ideal or perfect, I'd rather things stay this way. Who knows? The future might have it worse. I wish I could keep my friends around me forever and ever and ever. I wish JC life, despite all its stresses, would not have to end. Then I can continue living this fairy-tale of a life. This illusion of happiness.
I hate being afraid of change. It sounds so stupid, yet the fear is so real. Perhaps it'd be better to have none of it, than to have this brief happiness that cannot last.
Blah.
Ahhhhh... What am I saying? It must be the moon. It's making me insane.
What moon?
Oh you know the thing that floats in the sky at night.
Oh wait a minute... Where's the moon?
Oh no... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
*cue for someone to call IMH and tell them you've found their lost patient*
Labels: JC life
Breakdown
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
I'm just wondering about the term 'mental breakdown'. When a machine breaks down, it means it stops working. It's faulty, useless. Two fates await it: to be dumped or to be repaired.So... when someone has a mental breakdown, does it mean his brain is faulty and useless? Obviously we can't dump our brains, although there are those among us who have shown that it is possible to live on brainless. ^^ So... Where do we find brain repairmen?
Mental breakdown... Feels so degrading... A broken down machine is of no use to anyone; it is despised. What about a broken down brain? Should we despise anyone with a broken down brain? Does it mean they're useless too?
I suppose you could say a broken down brain is useless... It can no longer think straight. Unfortunately, that's no excuse for not doing our work. It isn't exactly a person's fault if his brain decides to go on holiday is it? No more than it is a machine's fault when it breaks down. Such things can't be predicted or, I doubt anyway, prevented. And yet, if we were to have a mental breakdown in the middle of an exam, we would get a zero all the same.
It's not fair... Hmph...
So how DO we prevent mental breakdowns? By not overworking, I suppose. Not going to happen in Singapore's society, where competition is tough. You take a day's break, you work triply hard the next day. Net change: loss in mental health and sanity= not good. And they dare blame us when we break down... I wonder IMH doesn't have to expand to take in all these new permanent breakdown-ees...
Oh well. My brain's been repaired for now. Hope it'll keep together at least till thursday evening! My last three intensive papers of this accursed prelims (or as Si Yi says, the p-thing ahahahaZ! I love the way she puts things). Then I can have a four-day break to cool my brain off, before my last two papers on next tuesday, which are less brain-draining, I hope.
Okays... Off to study again I guess... *whine whine* I don't want to! Don't make me! Mummy... *ahem* Ok I'm off~
Ja ne~
Labels: JC life
Hello darlings!!
Monday, August 21, 2006
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ *bounces around blog*WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~
Boinkaboinkaboinkaboinkaboinkaboinkaboinkaboinkaboinkaboinkaboinka~~~
*floats back down to earth* Sorry... I'm high and I've no idea why. No it can't be the few slabs of dark chocolate Yarong offered me this afternoon. No it can't be the three-hour writing intensive paper I had this morning. No it can't be this morning's coffee. So... It must be... A combination of all three~ Yay! My analysing skills rock! It's twoo, I just analysed them. *grins insanely*
Oh dear, what shall I blog about next? I know~
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ And multi-coloured pink-tinted sugar-coated mocha-stuffed crunchy bunnies! Yumm!
Ok I have no idea what that is... o.O *slaps self*
On a *ahem* saner note... The exams are more than half over! *jumps around screaming wildly* Ok so much for saner... -___________- Weeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllll, I'm going to fail more than half of them but *cough cough* I didn't say that. So, another week more and we're through. Then one week of peace, before we go back to the execution ground, I mean school. And get slaughtered like pigs or moomoos or sheepys in the slaughter house. Or Mr. F, as Sheepy so kindly explained functions to me with. Oh well...
'Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.'
- Alfred Tennyson, 'Charge of the Light Brigade'
Oh, and I love my Sheepy~ Note that I use the pronoun 'my' not because I'm that protective over Sheepy, but I know for a fact that there are other sheep out there, masquerading as my Sheepy... ^^ But you know that I know that we all know that there can only be one Sheepy. the sweetest, the charming-est, the... fluffy-est?
Ja ne~
Labels: JC life
Arigatou...
Saturday, August 19, 2006
To a certain Sheep that gave me 61 missed calls trying to get through just to comfort me...Doumo... Arigatou...
Labels: JC life
Oooo look! A tidal wave!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
No, actually I did not watch the Demented Cartoon Movie again (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/demented.php; don't watch if you don't want to go insaner, while it can be highly disturbing, it is also highly stress-relieving, especially if you're saddistic). It was just a wave of emotions resonating within...I seem to have lost the ability to blog my mind (as opposed to speaking it ahhahaZ)... I suppose it's just stress... Actually I'm not worried about the prelims, as some seem to think... I'm totally not worried, which worries me. I can still find the time to sit here and blog, and laze around. Isn't that something wrong...? *whacks head* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
Yea, I still haven't gotten past the AHHHHHHHHHHHHH stage...
Ja ne~
And hope every other J2s' studying scheme has progressed further than mine...
Labels: JC life
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
Sunday, July 30, 2006
And that pretty much sums up this entry.Ja ne~
Labels: JC life
Guilt...
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Sighs... I think I hurt someone really important to me... Sorry... Please forgive me?Sometimes, the people who hurt you most are the ones closest to you... Because the more you know that person, the more you let your guard down on that person. And you're more likely to speak your thoughts freely. That's when you may say or do something wrong, thinking it doesn't matter, because he's your best friend, and he'll forgive you no matter what...
That's how best friends fall apart sometimes.
I'm sorry...
Labels: JC life
Gone with the wind...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Two weeks, gone just like that... Two precious weeks of study wasted away... Bah... But I wouldn't say the time wasn't well spent. After all, how can hanging out with your best friend be a waste? =)Yupp~ For those rare few blurer than even the Blur Queen herself, Ally came and went, like the breeze. And so, I spent the last two weeks acting as her personal assistant. Most of the people who wanted to find her went through me, because she was using her mum's number. So I was doing my best to inform her of who was looking for her, trying to squeeze as many people as possible into the few days she had free to go out. And on top of that, I was trying to maintain a steady study pace... AhahahaZ sorry I couldn't go out with you all day Ally! December ok? =D
And well... Yea, we're out in the open now... Like Tovya said, I think it broke a lot of the restraints. I just want to say how blessed I feel, being able to be with the one I love... I think this is really cliche, but words really do fail to express my feelings... Just... Thank you...
Oh yea, I suppose the last thing for me to say now is that I have this strange persistent urge to tell the whole world, "I LOVE YOU~" ^^
Ja ne~
Labels: JC life
A little confession...
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
'Love is one of the true mysteries. The truest and the deepest of all. One thing, Maerad: to love is never wrong. It may be disastrous, it may never be possible, it may be the deepest agony. But it is never wrong..
.
.
Never be ashamed of your love. The only thing to be ashamed of is denying your love. That is what makes the shadow grow within your heart, that is the darkening of the light. And we all have many loves.'
- Cadvan, The Riddle by Alison Croggon
-----------------------------------------------------------
Yea, I do have a confession to make... And yea, I have been putting it off for some time...
I'm attached~
*runs for cover*
Ja ne~
Labels: JC life
Feel so bleah...
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Ya, that pretty summarises this blog entry.Good night! ^^
Ok no, just felt like reviving this blog a bit... Tov your tag thing is coming! I pwomish! >.<
Just studied a bit, but I don't feel accomplished at all. I feel worse. I feel... bleah. And I feel like whining... Hehe. No one to really whine to though... Bah... So I shall whine here~ Mwahahahahahaha. *whine whine*
Kk fine I shall go to bed. Happy studying everyone!
47 days... To turn from a slacker to a mugger... Will I make it?
The race starts now...
Sighs give me a break. I wanna cry... I wanna scream... I just wanna be me...
Ja ne~
Labels: JC life
Grr Tovya! >.<
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Ahhhhhhhhhh Tovya tagged me... Bleah.Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 5 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.
1) Uhh I'm insane. Very insane. Yeah, stay away from me. Because insanity is contagious. Yups. Very contagious. Seriously. ^^
2) Hmmmmm... I talk to myself a lot? Like, "hi me~" "Yups hi. I'm bored" "Me too." "Let's just stone here eh?" Ok lah sometimes it tries to help me make decisions. But the duality makes me indecisive instead. It's my evil side. ^^
3) I like to bounce on my bed! Boinka boinka boink~ Whee! Ehehehehehehe...
4) Uhh... Seven things get me high: Chocolate, Coffee, Cheese, Cake, Cookies, Chilli and Caramel (or simply sugar). Hence my blog add, perpetual-sugar-rush =D And when I get high I bounce around a lot. It's almost like getting drunk I suppose. Without the hangover. Oh, I get high on my own blood too! >.<
5) Hmm... Uhh... I have a strange love-hate relationship with heights and water. I'm afraid of heights and water, yet they sometimes fascinate me. See, I like to swim, and sometimes, especially on full-moon nights, I like to sit at the window looking out at the sky and all the way down... I live on the 11th floor... Ehehehehe...
6) I hate quizes like this! See, I'm more of a private person... But I suppose, if you're reading this blog, you should know enough of me. Which probably means... You know most of this stuff already! See... Pointless quiz...
I'm going to be evil and tag...
1) Alyson ^^
2) Jz (wow... a chance to update your blog eh?)
3) Xiao Hui (haven't seen you tag here for some time though... =\)
4) Gabriel (who doesn't even know my blog add yet... -.-)
5) No one~ See, that few people read my blog... Eheheheehehe
Ja ne~
Labels: JC life
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
'Love is never easy... We begin by loving the things we can, according to our stature. But it is not long before we find that what we love is other than ourselves, and that our love is no protection against being wounded. Do we then seek to dominate what we love, to make it bend to our will, to stop it hurting us, even though to do so is to betray love? And that is only where the difficulty begins.'- Nerili, The Riddle by Alison Croggon
It seems uncanny that what I read this morning (in a bid to get myself to wake up haha...) would coincide with what I've been thinking about these days. The age-old question: What is love? And is there such a thing as too much love? Can you love someone so much you get hurt?
I won't deny it - I'm a selfish person. When I love someone, I hope to be loved in return, in equal proportions. Unfortunately not everyone is the same. We have different capacities of loving, and different ways of showing it. Me, I read into the nitty gritty, sometimes too much. And when you're paranoid too, it doesn't help. You start reading too much into the behaviour and actions of others, and conclude, whether or not it was the original intention of the target in question, that the person has negative feelings towards you...
Sometimes things are best kept simple and clean.
Love... sometimes it empowers, sometimes it destroys. Strange isn't it, how a small thing can cause joy and sorrow at the same time, and in intense proportions too! But after all's been said and done, we still cannot live without love. Love is what keeps many of us going, and breaks the rest down...
But what makes love so complicated is what makes us pursue it with such vigour, isn't it? Humans are that silly, they love challenges, if only for the thrill of curiousity. But bewarned, if you get too close to fire, you will get burnt...
Fine fine, enough musings, I think I'll go study now... Stave off the crazy thoughts...
Ja ne~
And may you all find the answer soon...
Labels: JC life
A treasure never to be lost...
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
In my heart lies a treasure chest of weight a ton,Gold or silver it contains none.
But in this box lies my fondest memories
Of fond friends, my sweetest fantasies.
Friends, brothers, who gave me strength,
Run with me the race of any length.
A new hope rekindled in this stone heart;
A fresh spirit that with me will forever be a part.
And so this chocolate treasure i keep for tomorrow
To renew me whenever feelings are low.
My brothers, please stay, don't ever leave,
And may the bonds we share never cleave!
------------------------------------------------------------------
I think I'm getting out of touch... Oh wells...
Two years in ACJC CO as a cellist... My experience has made me...
... stronger, physically
... stronger, mentally
... more in love with music
But more importantly, the di ying section has given me...
... many hours of fun and lameness (whatever Si Yi!)
... many many smiles
... memories I will never lose, on pain of death (unless death is the cause of loss of memories)
... a shoulder to cry on (thanks An Li! *muacks* and Kah Joon for the tissue... haha!)
... friends that show me I'm not alone
... friends that show me endless support, even when I'm being so unreasonable
... hope in tomorrow
... the strength and will to live on (well, now you know how much your support meant)
Yupp thank you lots! You rock! And nope, Xing, don't worry... I was more than partially kidding when I said I was suicidal... ;)
Ja ne~ See you all next practice!
Labels: JC life
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