Patient's name: Ms Crazy Woman Age: unknown, but acts like a one-day-old Date of birth: October first (Children's Day) Place of birth: Lala-land
Diagnosis: Human Brain Deficiency Syndrome Symptoms: Frequent and extreme mood swings, tendency to talk to seemingly blank air and/or inanimate objects, sudden outbursts at random people, unknown longing to talk to someone (no particular person) but has no particular topic of discussion, unexpected bouts of sullenness, unexplained laughing fits, tendency to tear up whatever is in her hand and/or throw them at the walls, etc. Suggested medication: Liberal amounts of sugar, chocolates, coffee, chilli and any other substance which may cause an induced/pseudo high. Avoid overdosing of sleeping pills, panadol and other painkillers. Avoid windows to high floors (3rd floor and above) and sharp objects.
CAUTION: FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, PLEASE AVOID BEING IN CLOSE PROXIMITY WITH THE PATIENT AND DO NOT AT ALL COSTS PROVOKE HER.