Haha. Long time since I did a proper update... So yup. =p Anyway, exams are finally over! Fail everything lah! Ok, maybe can pass Maths and Lit only... I better pass Maths... Cannot let a certain purple teacher down. =p (BPians, you know who...)
So many things to blog... Mainly the result of a week's worth of thinking. Ya, I know, I was supposed to be studying... But can't help it lah. Probably as some might have guessed, given the topic of the entry about 2 entries down, been having a lot of xin shi. It's weird, when you think you've gotten over someone, that you've moved on, and then suddenly, you realise he was always in your heart. Your feelings never changed. I think some people may guess who I'm talking about. And some people already know for sure, because I told them. (and JZ, if you want to know which degree of love, I love him)
Looking at the quiz I did on thursday, it says I'm attached to those who are 'unbriddled, free' etc... Thinking about it now, I don't think that's true. My ideal 'other half', so to speak, is probably someone who understands me and whom I can understand. Someone who trusts me and I can trust. Someone who knows the true me, and loves me for who I am inside, not who I pretend to be. Someone who really cares, and not just pretend to care, or gives empty promises to cheer me up for a short period of time. Most importantly, someone whom I can talk to freely and is willing to listen to whatever crap I come up with and offer me a shoulder to cry on if I need one.
Perhaps I'm being too demanding. Up to now, I've only met a handful of people who are like that. And since I'm not a lesbian, that brings the number down by a lot. Haha. The person I mentioned above has given me all this. Or at least, if he was pretending, he is a very good actor. But we used to be quite close lah, but now not so... That was when I took my cue to forget him. But easier said than done. I think he was always in the back of my memory somewhere. I really miss the good old days when I could talk to him without feeling awkward. Now things are different. Good things aren't meant to last huh?
'Once bitten twice shy.' Alyson wrote that on her blog recently. My skin is too thick to feel the pain of the first bite. How many times have I fallen for someone who is not meant to be? I don't think I want to answer that. But it's love. There is no 'why'. It's human nature to love, and seldom do we get to choose who we fall in love with. It just comes when it does. Heex... But I wish it didn't have to affect people that badly.